Mouth-Breather Injured In Knob-Swabbing Incident

UNC Sophomore and alleged necrophile Tyler Hansbrough was injured Sunday while knob swabbing. Hansbrough, who earlier last week admitting to enjoying pedicures and butt-sex, said that he lost control of the knob and it came round and hit him in the nose.

Hansbrough said after the game, “You know, in my 2 years here at UNC I’ve taken a lot of shots in the mouth and even one or two in the eye. But this was the first I’ve taken in the nose.”

Here’s to a speedy recovery.

“That’s not a haircut question.”

If you havent been following the Boston bomb hoax (placing lightbright’s around the city) story please catch up here.

CHARLESTOWN, Massachusetts (CNN) — Two men pleaded not guilty Thursday to charges they created panic by placing “bomblike” electronic light boards displaying a cartoon character with an upraised middle finger throughout Boston.

These guys are great. Please watch the video after reading the above……

Know Your NC Cities – Part 1

What’s the name of the city between Greensboro and Winston Salem that no one cares about?

Give up?
The correct answer is High Point, NC. If you didn’t know that, then perhaps you should check out Part 1 of my quasi-regular column entitled “Know Your NC Cities”. This week, we’ll see how High Point can change from a city I don’t care about to a city I hate.

Let’s get our learn on.

Here are some quick fun facts about High Point, NC:

High Point has a population of 92,000 people. Not too shabby. Even more impressive, the population spikes to 205,000 when Whitesnake performs at the nearby Greensboro Coliseum.

High Point sits at an elevation of 926 meters above sea level. Interestingly enough, that’s exactly how high you can stack shit.

High Point is the only city in NC that is spread among 4 counties; Davidson, Guilford, Forsyth, and Randolph. The city’s boundaries were drawn this way because the city’s high welfare burden was too much to place on 3 counties.

High Point leads the nation in moustaches per square foot.

The average temperature during a High Point summer is 82 degrees, which attributes to High Point’s ranking as the number one purchaser of above ground swimming pools and styrofoam coolers.

High Point has a booming furniture industry. Long ago the people of the region were too poor to purchase couches to sit their fat asses on, so they built them by hand.

High Point is the home of High Point University. There, dozens of students spend their formative years studying subjects ranging from cigarette smoking to do-it-yourself window tinting.

Hope you enjoyed this installment of “Know Your NC Cities”.  I hope you learned as much as I did.  If there’s a city you’d like to know more about, let me know and we’ll get educated together.  Until next time…

Wednesday Random

 “Little Chris thought he’d never play at Littlejohn. To see him is to know why. Chris Poole, a former guard at Raleigh’s Broughton High, weighs 160 pounds and stands what he calls ‘a generous 5-9.'”

Now he’s a senior walk-on at Clemson, living his dream.  But what Poole does more than anything is stand as proof that State does not, indeed, have the market on short, slow white boys with no talent.

“Poole played point guard for the university’s intramural champion. His team went on win the South Carolina intramural title and reached the national final. Poole made the all-tournament team.

This summer, he worked out at Broughton’s gym with other Broughton graduates who knew ACC basketball. His mentor was Will Roach, a former N.C. State walk-on who earned a scholarship…[and] Braxton Albritton, a [current] State walk-on. Occasionally, Poole worked with [longtime Duke underachiever] Shavlik Randolph, his former Broughton teammate who’s now with the Philadelphia 76ers.”

What a remarkable story.  And to think, he could be playing significant minutes for the Pack this season.  How did we let this kid get out of Raleigh?